by Allegra Hyde

“Late one evening, while lying on a blanket in the garage, Duchess gave birth to a litter of slick, potato-sized puppies. When it looked as though one of them had died, our mother placed the creature in a casserole dish and popped it into the oven, like the witch in ‘Hänsel and Gretel.’

‘Oh, keep your shirts on,’ she said. “It’s only set on 200. I’m not baking anyone; this is just to keep him warm.'”

-David Sedaris